I had been so torn because I felt guilty about spending the money, guilty about wanting to spend time away from the boys, frustrated about not being able to do EVERYTHING, overwhelmed by Hubby's work schedule (which became my "work schedule" by default- super long days, 7 days a week), and also totally deserving of a break for some time to myself.
It is wonderful.
We are two weeks in, and there is no going back. I now know a set time that I can schedule appointments or meet a friend for lunch. I can sit at my desk and write, or scrapbook, or do a million other things that were on the back burner for years. I can do something other than just be Mom.
The first week, I stayed home, because (I'm embarrassed to say) O had never gone down to nap without me. I reorganized and cleared off my desk to the point that I can actually use it for the first time in over a year. I read, I made phone calls, I finished projects in 20 minutes that would have taken me all day if I was doing it while watching the boys. And then I made a REAL dinner. It was awesome.
The second week, I left pumped milk for O and went out for the entire afternoon. I came home refreshed and in such good mood, I almost didn't recognize myself. (And O napped & was just as smiley when I got home as he usually is.) And the best part is I can spend more QUALITY time with the boys now because I'm not trying to do a million other things at the same time.
Basically the tip here is to give yourself a break. Even if it's a small one. If you don't have a babysitter, trade time with a friend. I know of moms that swap sit regularly to get their workouts in. We deserve it!