Minivan Problems (and KidzCanDesign giveaway)

We picked up the new minivan last week, and we are LOVING it.  The only issue that I am having a hard time with is the key.  I know it sounds ridiculous, but my old car had a keyless entry system with push button start, and leaving my keys in the bottom of my diaperbag/schoolbag/purse for 5 years has made me a very lazy girl.  

At least once a day I walk up to my car and wonder why it won't just open- which is especially embarrassing when driving coworkers out to lunch (I've got two car seats and everyone can still fit in! Woohoo!)  Baby brain + new, kinda important thing to remember = I HAVE to make my keys easy to find/something I don't mind having in my hand all the time.

Enter KidzCanDeisgn.  They specialize in converting your child's work of art (or photos, handprints, etc.) into a high quality, sterling silver, custom piece of jewelry.  When I was approached to review a product by KidzCanDesign, I knew right away I would chose a keychain.  And I knew right away the piece of art I wanted to use.  

JD painted this picture a while ago and described it to me and "Mommy and Keith holding hands and happy."  For anyone who's read or spoken with me about my divorce, you know that JD was very sensitive to my feelings- and especially concerned about my happiness level. It brought me to tears to know that he saw me as happy in my and Keith's relationship.  I framed it, and it has hung in our bedroom since.

The KidzCanDesign process was extremely user friendly.  I simply chose my item and uploaded a picture of the artwork.  Their site is full of beautiful examples to give you ideas of what you can have done.

I can imagine the kids would love getting a pendant made of some of their own artwork someday, too!

The final piece arrived beautifully packaged (think great gift idea for grandma or a special friend), and I am so happy with how it came out!  The quality really is great, and it still captures the feeling of JD's art.

Now for the fun part: We are giving a KidzCanDesign item away to a lucky reader, and they will get to design their own special piece!  

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Disclaimer: I was given the keychain for free for the purpose of this review.

I Can Smell Summer

With just a little more than a month left in the school year, I have never been antsier for summer in my life.  I've been taking the boys to the beach in the afternoons after work, and just can not contain my excitement for all the things I want to do this summer.  Beach! Pool! Camping! Concerts! Road trips! Spray park! DISNEY WORLD! And clean out my closets. Take 10 months worth of pictures off memory cards.  Exercise. Blog!

Working full time has pretty much kicked my butt.  I'm still struggling with the mommy guilt- attempting desperately to make my time with the boys as memorable and awesome as it was when I was a SAHM.  Add a stressful divorce into the mix, and I'm proud I haven't completely lost my mind.  The part that has really made blogging so impossible lately though? Dating.

Blogging and dating just don't mix.   At least easily.  I knew it as soon as my boyfriend pointed out that I'm on my phone whenever he leaves the room.  I certainly can't read ALL THE BLOGS and check twitter, facebook, instagram... And if I bust out a post after the boys are in bed on weeknights, that takes precious sentence forming brain power away from flirty phone conversations.  My time with the boys is precious, and they deserve my full attention.  And once they're asleep or spending time with their dad, my relationship deserves the same.  Don't get me wrong- I have me "me time", but blogging doesn't top going for a run or getting a manicure right now.

So while I think about my bloggy friends and my little blog each day, summer will be our time.  

A Gift for the Divorcee

Telling people you are getting a divorce isn't easy.  Hearing that a friend is getting a divorce isn't easy either.  As I have told friends about my situation, I've seen their shock, sadness, pity, and speechlessness, and I certainly don't have any answers as to what the "right" thing to say is.  But I have witnessed what the right thing to do is.  


I have been blessed with the most awesome friends and family.  They have listened and offered their support no matter what direction this takes me.  I also have a couple friends who seem to instinctively know what I need, and they have one thing in common.  They've gone through a divorce.  


It makes me feel guilty that I wasn't there for them in the same way during their rough time, but I hope they know how very much I love and appreciate them being here for me through mine.  


Recently a friend delivered a gift that simultaneously brings me to laughter and tears.  It is probably the most thoughtful gift I have ever received, and the perfect gift for anyone woman going through a divorce. 

It included a bottle of wine (notice it's already empty), 2 goblets that she painted to say "Worth It" & "Available", scissors (for some photo editing), a mirror that says "Still got it!", a back scratcher, and a couple snickers bars (because they're really satisfying, of course) (and they didn't last long enough to make it into the picture).  Best of all was the card, which read, "Life is filled with new adventures and some journeys we may not want to take, but where we end up is far better than where we were.  I'm here for you anytime and anywhere."  Who needs a husband when you have a friend like that ;)

Helping Toddlers Deal with Divorce

When my husband moved out 5 months ago, JD had a much stronger reaction than I was prepared for, and it terrified me.  Because his dad frequently traveled and worked a lot of nights, I naively thought JD wouldn't notice a huge change in our routine, but I quickly realized that not only did he understand that something major was going on, but he was also picking up on my own anxiety and sadness.  He started stuttering, biting his nails, and acting out (much more than usual).  I don't know if I was more devastated by my personal crisis or by watching JD go through his own.


I am relieved to share that the stuttering has completely stopped and his behavior has drastically improved.  (I will take any tips for stopping the nail biting!)  Here are a few things that I would attribute this to.

1. Simplifying as much as possible.  At first I thought it would be best for the boys if I had their dad over for a couple meals each week, but I quickly realized that it was too confusing for them.  JD would start the next day crying and screaming because daddy wasn't still there.  Him coming and going from the house didn't make sense to them, and of course they picked up on the tension.
2. Having a consistent schedule and pick-up & drop-off routine.  I noticed a huge change in JD's behavior after keeping drop-off & pick-up as quick as possible and right at the door.  I would like to think that I have less tension and anxiety because I know the schedule, and that impacts the boys, too.
3. Being honest.  I have openly and positively talked with the boys about what is going on and how we are feeling.  From the beginning, they were comfortable talking about daddy's house vs. mommy's house, and they know that it's okay to be sad and miss daddy and also to be happy and excited to spend time with him.  I want them to learn that they can trust me to be honest with them- but it is important to note that that doesn't mean that I will tell them everything.  There is no reason for them to ever hear me say anything negative about their father or make them feel like they need to choose sides.
4. Showing them similar situations- both in books and in real life.  One of my best friends is divorced and shares custody of her daughter.  JD was so excited to hear that she has a "mommy's house" and a "daddy's house", too, and my friend has been an incredible resource and support to me.  At first I was hesitant to get the boys books that used the D word, and there isn't much for toddlers anyway, but there are a lot of books that deal with separation anxiety and different kinds of families.  Our favorites are Llama Llama Misses Mama, The Family Book (We LOVE Todd Parr books.), When I Miss You, and Owl Babies.  I've had a harder time finding books about missing daddy (Anybody else notice most separation anxiety-themed books deal with missing mom?), but there are great books that depict a child spending time alone with their dad- like The Biggest Bear, My Daddy and Me, and Because Your Daddy Loves You.  

This is just the start of our family's transition, and I hope to share more good news soon.

The D Word

I've been quiet lately. Mostly because I don't know what to say. When I look back at my posts from the last six months, I see myself trying really hard to find a reason to be happy. And that makes me sad.


I'm getting divorced. 


Life has been sad and scary and frustrating and confusing and infuriating and lonely and exhausting and dark. 


But there has also been light. I have two boys who give me a reason to get out of bed. Who make me smile and giggle and dance. And I could never have imagined feeling so much love and support from my family and friends (both in real life and online). 


I have also been blown away by the number of stories I have heard of women going through similar situations. There are no words to describe how comforting it is to know that I am not "alone". And then that makes me sad. 


That's why I'm sharing this.  Because I completely understand how vital it is for moms to have community in all kinds of weather. Thank you for sticking by me, and please bear with me as I figure out my new direction.

Our family <3