Monday, October 24, 2011

Reflecting

O turned one today.  
Every time I look at this pic, I can't get over how much he looks like Hubby.
We I have spent a lot of time over the past few months thinking about today.  Aside from the party this weekend totally taking over my life, I have also been losing sleep over the idea of my baby becoming more "toddler" than "baby".  I've been feeling the baby fever creep back (which isn't helped by the fact that I had to buy JD new sneakers AGAIN this weekend- in a size NINE!  I have no idea how I can possibly have a kid old enough to have feet that big.)


What I did not spend enough time thinking about was how hard today would be for JD.  Looking back, I guess I should have realized he would be jealous and wouldn't really understand, but he made the day difficult, and I was so torn between feeling bad for him and feeling bad for O and feeling like I just wanted him to stop screaming so I could get one peaceful snippet of video.  


For the last couple months, JD fooled me into believing he was genuinely excited about his brother's birthday.  He practiced singing to him, talked about what he wanted to give him, and screamed "for O's birthday!" every time he saw a Halloween decoration.  He helped me wrap the gifts yesterday, and woke up this morning happy to help carry them all into O's room.  Then it all fell apart.
"All for me?"
"Back up brother."
O fights back.
sobbing toddler
Hubby holding him down so O could tear one piece of wrapping paper without being tackled.
Some peaceful playing (because O wasn't touching this one- the Little People Halloween House scares him.  For real.  After I put the batteries in and showed him how the ghost pops up from the chimney, he FREAKED OUT and speed crawled out of the room.)
When I tucked JD into bed tonight, we talked about the day and what we were looking forward to tomorrow.  I told him that after school we could all play with O's new toys together.  I pointed out how O shares his toys with JD, just like JD shares his, and he said in his sweetest little voice, "O share nice".  


I wanted to give O a special day that was all about the things he likes: playing, following the dog, flirting with waitresses, eating yogurt melts, and snuggling with mommy.  I just didn't factor in how to balance that with the demands of a toddler.  As I look back, O did get to do all of those things, it just didn't go as smoothly as I thought it would.  I guess that's a part of having more than one child that I hadn't really thought about before.  Nobody's special day will ever be all about them.  


And this is the part where I ask for tips on how to keep JD from melting down at O's party. (I just had an image of O 20 years from now telling his therapist about how we had to sing Happy Birthday to JD at all of O's birthday parties.)  How do you handle this in your family?

6 comments:

  1. I'm sorry it was so rough. I have nothing helpful to add.

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  2. I am all about birthdays and it being your one special day just for you, so I think everything you've done so far is great! I am also all about tough love. If he gets upset at O's birthday party, so be it. People understand he is a toddler and that is normal behavior, eventually he will grow out of it and realize that when his birthday rolls around it is his special day. My in-laws gave my husband a present at every siblings' birthday because he had a meltdown and all that did was teach him how to get what he wanted. You are fixing the problem so early on, it might be a pain to deal with now, but he'll outgrow it quickly.

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  3. yikes, i have no idea! i'm sorry it went a little rocky! if you figure it all out let me know before I have #2 ;)

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  4. I'm not there yet, but we thought it was pretty funny that at least two of P.'s little friends cried during happy birthday (at her party) because they were so mad the party wasn't for them!

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