Nice, right? So why am I having a hard time accepting it as a compliment?
I have been replaying it all day trying to decide if she truly meant that she admired my patience with my children, or if it was a nice way of saying my kids were not behaving up to her standards and she didn't think I was doing enough. Why am I so hung up on it? Why the mommy guilt?
Bringing two toddlers to Mass by myself is not easy, but it's something I enjoy doing and feel is important for our family. There is no "baby room" to sneak away to, so I bring a few quiet things to keep their attention. We sit in the very last row because I feel that their pew-gymnastics will be less distracting. I try to get them engaged in the "stories" and the songs, but they find a lot more enjoyment in trying to escape (O) and talking about the people sitting around us (JD).
I've been around the block long enough to know that holding them down to their seats or shushing them every time they make a peep will not have positive results, so I choose my battles. Yes, sometimes my toddler speaks up at a quiet moment. Sometimes my other toddler squeals when I stop him from climbing under the seats. But generally the people surrounding us smile. I'd like to think that seeing my beautiful babies' smiles would make anyone's day. I tell myself not to care if anyone is annoyed.
So why do I worry so much that I am not doing enough when I know I am doing my best?
|I wouldn't want to sit next to anyone else!|